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Archive for July, 2011
30 Jul

殺手之王

整個江湖都在議論紛紛,即使足不出戶的女眷也都很好奇。殺手之王,鳳,會做出怎樣的決定。

鳳出道極早。二十年前,年僅十一歲的他就手刃了村子裡的大惡霸,出手乾淨俐落,驚震了殺手界。當時的殺手之王,冷鷹,放話要收他為弟子。但鳳回絕了,只說了一句:死人不能收弟子。

三年後,冷鷹被十四歲的鳳殺了,僅僅一刀。而鳳的身上最少傷了一百七十二處,都僅僅偏離了要害一分。有人說鳳以強韌的意志在千鈞一髮間避開了要害。有人說冷鷹珍惜這位後起之秀,不忍下殺手。對此,鳳只保持沈默,沒有做出謄清。

無論如何,這之後鳳成了新一代的殺手之王,這是不爭的事實。

像所有的高檔殺手,鳳殺人有原則。鳳只殺黑道上的人,收費是官方目標人頭價的五倍。但也有例外。有一次,黑龍江的江蛟龍,因為黑吃黑,吞了敵對幫派,水皇,劫下的鏢,三十萬兩黃金。江蛟龍花了六成的價格,讓鳳殺了水皇。鳳開價八成,江蛟龍無奈同意。水皇第二天死在一刀下。

鳳的另一個原則是,他從不回絕客戶。

黑道上對鳳又愛又恨。只要有錢,敵人就得死。但與此同時,自己的生命也隨時消失在一刀下。沒有人懷疑鳳有殺不了的目標。

二十年下來,黑道人物幾乎都瘋狂了。他們不能忍受每天提心吊膽的過日子。漸漸的,一股反鳳的黑道力量開始凝聚起來。他們想辦法去打擊鳳。

鳳是孤兒,無牽無掛,沒有人能牽制他。黑道上的人幾乎都崩潰了。

直到一天,江湖傳出,鳳與有名的女魔頭,逍遙仙子,成了親。這消息讓黑道興奮極了。根據鳳的原則,只要他們出得起錢,鳳必須殺了逍遙仙子。而逍遙仙子的官方人頭價是二十萬兩銀子。一百萬兩銀子的黑道價,對整個黑道來說不是一回事。

原則,在江湖上是關乎一個殺手的信譽。沒有了信譽的殺手是會被江湖所唾棄的。不殺逍遙仙子,鳳的信譽會跌到谷底,一蹶不振。殺逍遙仙子,鳳的感情會受到打擊,也會一蹶不振。

殺手本來就不能有感情生活。一日殺手,終身殺手。黑道上已經覺得鳳被逼進死胡同了。他,沒有選擇,必須殺了逍遙仙子。黑道上幾乎都準備慶祝鳳的沒落。

鳳,終於收下了一百萬兩銀子。

第二天,鳳滅了出一百萬兩銀子的黑道集團。

第三天,鳳宣佈了驚震黑道的消息。鳳本是大內一品帶刀侍衛,以臥底身份滲入黑道,二十年來滅了大部分無惡不作的黑道人物。

黑道從此一蹶不振,江湖從此平靜了五十年。

Categories: 胡天胡地 Tags:
22 Jul

還是犯傻了

好了,皇痿會報告千呼萬喚屎出來了。那隻狸一臉笑容的拿著報告讓鎂光燈不停的閃在身上,他和藹可親的照片都上了當天幾乎所有報章的頭條,整個場面給人的感覺像是新書推介禮,而他則是作者。。。誰知道?

用不著去搶購報告。我們親愛的報社會為我們盡一份綿力的。上午報告才從熱烘烘的爐子裡出來,下午網路媒體就已經頭條出來了。

以用不著上班的輕快心情,慢條斯理的泡一杯冰凍的檸檬茶,在不太熱的下午開著強度適中的風扇,坐在椅子上,調整好一個舒服的角度,往電腦一按,啊哈,果然出頭條了。

網路嘛,當然都是反政虎的。傾政虎的都忙著擦鞋去了,沒有時間上網的。況且Bolehland 政虎上網比小市民貴很多很多倍。不相信?你看看,開個面子書戶口都要一百八十萬大洋(乜又琴嗝咩?)。還是擦鞋好了,擦鞋划算些。

啊,說離題了。出頭條了、出頭條了。是自殺的,不是他殺的。報告結果跟那隻狸的笑容多麽的一致,為甚麽還犯傻的花三十五塊大洋去買哪個報告呢?詳情都寫在那隻狸的臉上了呀。到跳蚤市場買個兩塊錢的大陸放大鏡,在他臉上看看就有了呀。三十五塊大洋,拿去買一杯冰凍啤酒,一口氣喝完,打個嗝,上上廁所尿出來,心情還是愉快的。幹嘛犯傻、幹嘛犯傻。

皇痿會花了納稅人好多好多的時間跟金錢,但成員的糧還是經過政虎的手發出來的。政虎說,你們看著辦吧。所以,報告終於都很蛇的出來了。你那一霎那間有期望嗎?有嗎、有嗎?很不好意思地說,有的,我有。自以為很厲害的我,結果還是犯傻了。

Categories: 兩岸猿聲啼不住 Tags:
12 Jul

Gallstone Natural Regimen Myth Debunked

For those who have been diagnosed to have gallstones in your gallbladder, and who have been approached by the health specialist who suggested that you can flush your gallstones via natural way, please read this article before you do so.

I am one of them, and here is my experience.

Two weeks ago I went for my ultrasound scan, and was diagnosed to have a gallstone measuring 1.14 cm across in my gallbladder next to the duct. Like many others, I went for the natural treatment suggested. The regimen is all over the net, you can find it yourself. In brief, the treament procedure suggests:

1. Consume at least 4 apples (or equivalent juice) per day for five days. Apple juice is said to be able to soften the gallstone. I consumed equivalent to 8 apples per day, just to be at the safe side.

2. On the sixth day, fast from 2pm. At 6pm and 8pm, take 1 teaspoon Epsom salt mix with water. At 10pm, drink a full cup of mixed five to eight fresh lemon juice with olive oil. Lemon juice is to break the stones down to smaller pieces so they are easier to flush out. Olive oil helps to produce large amount of bile to flush the stones out of the gallbladder to the intestine.

3. On the seventh day, the stones will be flushed out following pass motion, and these stones are green colour and floating on the water surface. There will be multiple of them, with the size of pea.

Yes, I followed these procedure, and yes, these stones did come out. I flushed away some, but there were still tens of them. If you google “gallstones” on the net, look for little-green-pea like gallstones, that’s similar to mine.

I was confused, that I had only one big gallstone detected but I flushed out multiple of them? The explanation given was, they are too small to be detected by ultrasound machine. I bought the explanation despite the fact that the ultrasound machine is capable of detecting a stone as small as 2mm, told by the radiographer.

Anyway, this regimen works, doesn’t it?

Unfortunately it doesn’t, I am sorry. The so-called gallstones is not gallstone afterall. They are merely crystalized substance formed via a process call saponification, loosely translated to soap-like formation, between the olive oil and the lemon. In my case, I left the so-called gallstones on the newspaper, it disolved over days, and dissapeared after a few days, leaving behind a stack of oily newspaper.

But how do I prove that my gallstone was not flushed out? Simple, I back my above statement via the second ultrasound scan. Yes, the stone is still there, as big as it was. In fact, when I went back to the hospital the second time, the doctor and the rediographer were smiling at me. The doctor asked: “Now you have done your traditional treatment. So when do you want to schedule for the operation?” The radiograher asked: “You came two weeks ago and you are here today, you must have tried the traditional treatment, didn’t you?… oh yeah, I can see on the screen that the stone is still here, unchanged. I am sorry.”

My advice, don’t waste your time with this remedy, go to see doctor when you develop symptons of gallsone.

Categories: 科學?魔法? Tags:
08 Jul

淨選三部曲

馬來西亞淨選盟在元首的祝福下選擇了在默迪卡體育館舉行示威。

首相說:『嗯?我有同意嗎?沒有,我沒有說同意!』

:但你也沒有反對呀。

副首相穆尤丁說:『啊,神聖的默迪卡體育館不能被玷污!』

:國陣政府老兄,你完全忘了90年代被金錢蒙蔽了眼睛,差一點就將神聖的默迪卡體育館的土地贈給私人公司來發展。。說是發展,其實當然是為了袋袋平安。要不是人民群起反對,它早就被拆除了,還說甚麽神聖的、玷污的。

全國總警長伊斯邁奧瑪說:『喝!誰穿黃衣我就抓誰!』

:永遠不要讓我看到你穿黃衣。

Categories: 兩岸猿聲啼不住 Tags:
07 Jul

不分貴賤

像往常一樣,起身洗刷之後,到院子裡餵餵兔子、掃掃地。

沒有用心的緣故,院子裡本來一片青綠的草地已變成稀稀落落的、光禿禿的泥地。沒有用心的意思就是沒有努力去清掃不斷飄落下來的枯竹葉。竹葉相當的耐日曬雨淋,所以可以用來裹粽子。枯葉飄落下來後,好久都不會腐爛,一層層的將本來青綠的草地覆蓋著。得不到陽光的小草就只有死去了。

牆邊本來也種了一排不知名的灌木系植物。後來被兔子啃得相繼死去。有幾株還很頑固的努力生存著。本來三尺高的植物變成了三寸高,只有疏疏落落的幾片小葉子。

那天清早,掃著掃著,突然看見三寸高的植物竟然開了一朵小紅花。霎那間心中好像小女孩一樣的感動了起來。有點老生常談,不過當時確實有生命不分貴賤,都同樣努力的在生存著的感覺。

Categories: 呢喃 Tags: